corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Found the puke drawer
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
