i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
