If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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