dude i'm inner monologue high
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
