mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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