im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
