My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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