i think my tv is drunk
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
