You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
