He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
