Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
