I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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