You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
