ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
