FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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