i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
