On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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