these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
