dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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