Your face is a jimmy john
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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