oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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