alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
