(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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