You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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