sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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