I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Randomize
