he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
