Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
