I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
