We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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