you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
