lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You pole danced in your parka.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I can't turn off my feet"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
