im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
