"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
