Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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