Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
