I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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