What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
