I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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