the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
