omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
