I skipped work to stalk him.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
