I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
