Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
