Can Purell be used as lube?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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