called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
so much tequila, so little girl.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
