I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
