VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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