dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
