I wannas sexs uuuuu
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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