somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
